January 4, 2020

Wow.  What a whirlwind we've been in.  Seems like it was just July when I took my husband to the ER with extreme pain in his abdomen area. Then the surgery, the diagnosis of the big C, Cancer, and the discussion of treatment with the Oncologist, the last treatment seemed a long way off, and now he only has two treatments left.  We know not what the future holds, but we thank God for all his blessings and for helping us to make the journey this far. 

Recently, I posted a picture of my 65 year old self to social media, and a sweet friend commented that i was an inspiration to all women.  The gist of the post began "Here's to a new decade", then proceeded to say "I've hated this woman...,Actually, I've not loved her at all most of her life."  It goes on about how she'd never thought herself good enough, at times she was broken, treated disrespectfully, battled for those who won't even stand by and for her, etc., etc., etc. She was abandoned, paralyzed by fear, fought battles in her mind, heart and soul, and had many scars because of her history. She couldn't understand how some people loved her regardless, some people liked her and some just didn't care for her at all, including herself.  But, now she is beginning to love herself, every mistake, every failure, trial, disappointment and success.

With that said, bring on the new decade.  One thing life has taught me, while going through life itself, is that LIFE itself, is very fragile. Through many of my decades, I've had to deal with illness and death. My grandmother, Victoria, whom I was very close to, died of kidney failure at the age of 88.  She lived what I would call a very hard life, but she always had faith and love in her heart. My father was electrocuted, and survived, had bleeding ulcers and survived, had St. Louis strain of Encephalitis and survived until he encountered Pneumonia while recovering from the Encephalitis.  My father died at the age of 42.  My mother had 3/4 of her Thyroid removed, and survived, had a quadruple bypass on her heart, and survived, became paralyzed from a stroke suffered in her back, and survived. She then had to undergo kidney dialysis because of renal failure and survived until she encountered lung cancer, which no one knew she had.  My mother died at the age of 69. My husband at the age of 67 was diagnosed with cancer and I will soon call him a Survivor.  So here's to a new decade...may we all be Survivors and learn to love ourselves so others may love us too. May we all be an inspiration to others, because life is short, and fragile, so be kind.